It's something I've only done a handful of times in my life, and the last time was two years ago. But today I smoked pot.
I didn't feel really giggly or hungry or any of the things you see on tv or in movies. I felt totally normal. That in itself was the most amazing feeling. For the first time in months, maybe years, I didn't feel tense or nervous or fidgety. I felt very at ease. Like I suspect normal people feel when they're hanging out with their close friends. It felt so effortless.
All of the other times I've tried it, I've been very drunk. Not this time. I can't believe how different it is. I'm not saying I'm going to start doing it all the time, but I'm very thankful that I was able to have a relaxed evening with my friends for once without having to have a lot of alcohol.
Pretty much everyone I know smokes. It's not a big deal, it's just not something I ever wanted to get into. But I will definitely keep this in mind for chemo.
10:55 p.m. - 2014-05-24