The middle of the night is a lonely time. Maybe one of the times when I miss him the most. I used to stay up late to talk to him. Or I'd check to see if he was up if I woke during the night. I still check.
I know we've talked a little. I'm trying to respect his decision to try again with his wife. It's so hard. I want to talk to him all the time. But I want things to be fair for her, too. Even though I'm not exactly her biggest fan.
I wish there was a way to make this better. Easier. I wish he could hold me. I wish you could turn feelings off for a little while. I don't know what I wish for. I just miss him.
4:17 a.m. - 2014-04-27