The chats are getting more serious. As if they weren't serious already. He says that he's given her a deadline in his mind and will decide what to do then. Whether to stay together or not. He says probably not. She has until July.
He has children, and needs to stay where he is in order to be near them. He asked if I have any reason to stay here, or if I'd be able to move to him. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't already thought of this. I told him that other than my sibling, I don't really have any other strong ties to this place, but I would want to come back to visit. He told me how much he makes in a year, how much it costs to buy a house in his area, that I could take my time to find a job or career that I really love.
I'm sure he didn't mean to, but that feels like a lot of pressure. I haven't really decided how much longer I'm willing to stick it out in my marriage. If I left, what if I just wanted to be on my own a while? Or what if things work out and I don't leave? Or what if he decides to stay with his wife?
This is such a difficult situation, and one I didn't ask for. One that I tried hard not to get involved in. But he has been making me feel so good. Happy. And happy isn't something I've been very often lately. It's addictive, and confusing.
That's the thing about the Internet. It opens up a whole other world of possibilities. That can be good or bad, depending on how you look at it. I don't know which side I'm on yet.
1:03 p.m. - 2014-04-05